Ouch! That’s my breast, not a waffle. And a few other thoughts from this morning’s mammogram.

Huh, me? Implants? You’re funny.

Oomph. Modern science? More like modern torture.

A tormented, heartbroken man must have invented this device. If men squished their testicles in waffle-makers every year, a better tool would exist.

Note to self: recommend hand-warmers in those big scrub pockets.