Photo by Hello I'm Nik 🎞 on Unsplash

Ouch! That’s my breast, not a waffle. And a few other thoughts from this morning’s mammogram.

Huh, me? Implants? You’re funny.

Oomph. Modern science? More like modern torture.

A tormented, heartbroken man must have invented this device. If men squished their testicles in waffle-makers every year, a better tool would exist.

Note to self: recommend hand-warmers in those big scrub pockets.

Would I take this woman’s eye out if I was nursing?

Oh goodie. One more? Need a better angle because my breasts are dense? Hmmm…maybe it’s the machine that’s dense, not my girls.

Well, that sucked. But, it’s still better than that damned dentist’s drill.

All joking aside, one of my good friends just conquered breast cancer. She inspired me to get my butt in for a screening. If you’re over 40, get in there and get those melons squished!

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